I had a really fucked up dream last night (this is the second time I had this dream), but, before I get to that, some of my past needs to be revealed.
The past:
When I was 6, my oldest sister (she was 16) Sandy died. Her and boyfriend where cruising through a park and were ran off the road into a tree by a drunk, on duty cop. The cop waited 45 minutes to even call an ambulance. Sandy and Jerry were alive when they arrive at the hospital, but died a short while later. The more tragic part to this story is that Sandy was 8.5 months pregnant with twin boys. Sadly they died too. We prosecuted, but lost.
The dream:
It starts in the house where we all lived when Sandy died, except, the house is brighter, more airy, and has a sense of happiness. Even when I was 6, I could just feel the tension that ran through the house. Anyhow, Sandy and I are folding just a fuckton of blankets and quilts, they are wall to wall floor to ceiling. In the dream, I already know she is going to die on this day, and she dies by tripping over the blankets and hitting her head. I am following her around, ready to catch her at any mis-step. The whole time, Sandy is not aware that she is about to die.
*This is where it get WEIRD*
I hear the doorbell ring, and run to get it. When I open the door, it is a squat, red, alien looking thing that says "I am death, and I am here for your sister.". I start girl slapping this thing and yelling "No, you can't have her!" over, and over again. Finally, death runs away. I race back to the room where Sandy is and tell her "You are going to live, I made death go away!!" Sandy thinks I am nuts because she didn't know she was marked for death that day. Then we just resume the day as normal.
*****
That dream bothers me so much because it was the most vivid dream I have ever had. Sandy has been dead for over 20 years, but, I swear to god I could smell her, touch her and just feel her presence. I never wake up crying, but, this time I did because it felt like I lost her all over again.
I post this because I want opinions on WHY I keep having this dream.
So, please analyze me.
and go....
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2 comments:
Well, some things are pretty obvious. You have had people close to you die, and it is an unresolved thing for you. It seems like you have never accepted your sister's death, so you are fighting Death (the red alien dude) on her behalf. I imagine you have had thoughts of "if only I could have saved her" and this is a way of acting out those thoughts. So how do you keep from having these dreams? Maybe just accept that it turned out the way it did. Here's an idea: if you meet Death again, just talk to it. You could ask it why it was this way. Death isn't your enemy. It's neutral.
I'm sorry about your sis and mom.
Take care,
david
Umm, unrelated... did you ever answer my question about the title of you site?
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