Tuesday, the baby known as M had this horrible, croupy cough. I know, I know, she got it from daycare. I feel bad enough as it is, lets not make me feel worse.
I managed to get an appointment Tuesday to take her in.
I am admittedly flying down 441 to get home to get M, and I come over a hill, trooper sees me, and I know instantly that he is pulling me over. He sauntered to the car, literally.
FHP: "I pulled you over for doing 60 in a 45"
Me: ok, just trying to get home to to take my daughter to the doc.
FHP: Uh-huh
**I know this guy has heard them all, but I was telling the truth**
The husband known as J and I are know volleying all the things we shouldn't say to this guy:
J: Should I tell him I pay his salary? Tell him that he should go after the "real criminals"?
Me: No, no, no - tell him to prove it to me that I was speeding!!
J: OOHHHH! I am going to ask him why he isn't out raping immigrants (a Miami cop was just busted for doing so). Nooooo, I will ask him why he isn't stalking 14 year old boys and girls on the internet (another Miami cop was busted for that.).
FHP comes back to the car: Do you live in Florida?
Me: Yes, I live in Dania Beach
FHP: How long?
Me: Um, yeah, 2 years now.
FHP: Yeah, I'll be back.
After a very long time, he comes back and says "I am going to warn you about the speeding, but ticket you for not having a Florida DL."
I have to go to court to prove that I have gotten a FL dl.
Dammit!
March 28, 2007
March 22, 2007
Doesn't it bother you that you are transparent?
Not you, my dear reader.
I found a new blog, and my method is to read the first few posts, and if it is interesting, I will read that persons archives. That's just how I roll.
So this woman, decided to start blogging. Just about everyday stuff, you know, the usual. Then the husband problems, and the half assed affair attempts, then she leaves him, he pines, she rebuffs oooohhhh the drama.
Then, it happens - she starts posting semi-nudes on the blog, and writing bad porn-poetry. Then has the fucking nerve to play the damn victim when receiving unwanted comments!!! I am not a master blogger/writer/anything, but, it is women like that that piss me off. You put yourself out there and play the damsel in distress when it gets too much. AAARGH!!
Can I get opinions?
and go...
I found a new blog, and my method is to read the first few posts, and if it is interesting, I will read that persons archives. That's just how I roll.
So this woman, decided to start blogging. Just about everyday stuff, you know, the usual. Then the husband problems, and the half assed affair attempts, then she leaves him, he pines, she rebuffs oooohhhh the drama.
Then, it happens - she starts posting semi-nudes on the blog, and writing bad porn-poetry. Then has the fucking nerve to play the damn victim when receiving unwanted comments!!! I am not a master blogger/writer/anything, but, it is women like that that piss me off. You put yourself out there and play the damsel in distress when it gets too much. AAARGH!!
Can I get opinions?
and go...
March 20, 2007
Trying NOT to start a trend.
I would apologize for not posting in a week, but, no one is here.
My first week, I lost 6 lbs. I am pretty proud.
I got nothin. I was just going to talk about the last week in the life, but its just pathetically boring. It would go like this:
My first week, I lost 6 lbs. I am pretty proud.
I got nothin. I was just going to talk about the last week in the life, but its just pathetically boring. It would go like this:
- Monday I started a diet
- Tuesday I probably fought unneccessarily with J
- Wednesday I realized that I didn't have to eat to feel better
- Thursday I figured out that most of the other women on the Weight Watchers message boards, are catty bitches. I fucking hate cattiness, even though I am sometimes guilty.
- Friday I was the sickest I have ever been in my life. I still don't know what it was.
- Saturday I still felt like dog shit.
- Sunday I felt better and the weekend was over.
Sorry to whine, that just how it was.
Anyway - tomorrow is a new day - onward!
March 12, 2007
How's that for Monday torture...
Major changes should not be done on a Monday.
I started a diet today. I went back on Weight Watchers, worked well about 4 years ago when I just had to lose "lazy fat". Now, it's "baby fat" on top of "lazy fat". No, I will not turn this into a weight loss blog, I just wanted to offer an excuse up front about my bastardly demenor that I am sure is to emerge.
****
So, Richard Jeni blew his face off, while sad, does anyone really care?
I started a diet today. I went back on Weight Watchers, worked well about 4 years ago when I just had to lose "lazy fat". Now, it's "baby fat" on top of "lazy fat". No, I will not turn this into a weight loss blog, I just wanted to offer an excuse up front about my bastardly demenor that I am sure is to emerge.
****
So, Richard Jeni blew his face off, while sad, does anyone really care?
March 7, 2007
Pffffffft Wednesday..
It's just been one of those days. I overslept this morning and it has just thrown my whole day off.
I drop off the baby known as M, late, to day care and MaryLou decides that this is a good time to tell me about her 50+ years experience as a child care provider. Don't get me wrong, she is a sweet lady, but I just didn't have the time. I had to cut her off and run out.
I had to get gas this morning, and the gas station I like to go to mysteriously has lines at all the pumps. There are probably 15 pumps. The drive to work gets NO better, the asshat merging on to 595 in front of me thinks 40 is an acceptable speed to do so.
As mentioned previously, I am taking on new responsibilities here at work. I am taking this lull to go over procedures and drill them into my brain. I flippin nodded off! It was for maybe a minute, because I snorted myself awake with my chin to my chest. Good thing I was alone in the office today.
I was just coming back from the bathroom, and there was a woman getting on the elevator. The elevator dings, doors open and I hear "Woot! hee hee!". I turn to see who she is wooting, and there is no one there. Who woots an elevator arrival? I swear to god, IT'S IN THE WATER!
I hate to see what this evening brings.
I drop off the baby known as M, late, to day care and MaryLou decides that this is a good time to tell me about her 50+ years experience as a child care provider. Don't get me wrong, she is a sweet lady, but I just didn't have the time. I had to cut her off and run out.
I had to get gas this morning, and the gas station I like to go to mysteriously has lines at all the pumps. There are probably 15 pumps. The drive to work gets NO better, the asshat merging on to 595 in front of me thinks 40 is an acceptable speed to do so.
As mentioned previously, I am taking on new responsibilities here at work. I am taking this lull to go over procedures and drill them into my brain. I flippin nodded off! It was for maybe a minute, because I snorted myself awake with my chin to my chest. Good thing I was alone in the office today.
I was just coming back from the bathroom, and there was a woman getting on the elevator. The elevator dings, doors open and I hear "Woot! hee hee!". I turn to see who she is wooting, and there is no one there. Who woots an elevator arrival? I swear to god, IT'S IN THE WATER!
I hate to see what this evening brings.
March 2, 2007
RIP, now get the hell out.
I get up at 6 am everyday to enjoy a cup of coffee and watch a little news before I shower. Imagine my rage when I flip on the news and there is "continuing team coverage" of the MOTORCADE to escort Anna Nicole's body to the fucking airport.
Yes, it is a shitty camera phone picture. But, that is my local weather and in the lower left is the news chopper following the hearse to MIA. This was on all the local channels.
Lastly, they were interviewing some fucking chud relative of Anna's, and the woman said:
"They have tookin her body...." I am sure she said more but my head exploded. "Tookin" instead of taken is the WORST bastardization of the English language.
The good news is, Anna is no longer in the state of Florida.
March 1, 2007
Dreams that look into your soul?
I had a really fucked up dream last night (this is the second time I had this dream), but, before I get to that, some of my past needs to be revealed.
The past:
When I was 6, my oldest sister (she was 16) Sandy died. Her and boyfriend where cruising through a park and were ran off the road into a tree by a drunk, on duty cop. The cop waited 45 minutes to even call an ambulance. Sandy and Jerry were alive when they arrive at the hospital, but died a short while later. The more tragic part to this story is that Sandy was 8.5 months pregnant with twin boys. Sadly they died too. We prosecuted, but lost.
The dream:
It starts in the house where we all lived when Sandy died, except, the house is brighter, more airy, and has a sense of happiness. Even when I was 6, I could just feel the tension that ran through the house. Anyhow, Sandy and I are folding just a fuckton of blankets and quilts, they are wall to wall floor to ceiling. In the dream, I already know she is going to die on this day, and she dies by tripping over the blankets and hitting her head. I am following her around, ready to catch her at any mis-step. The whole time, Sandy is not aware that she is about to die.
*This is where it get WEIRD*
I hear the doorbell ring, and run to get it. When I open the door, it is a squat, red, alien looking thing that says "I am death, and I am here for your sister.". I start girl slapping this thing and yelling "No, you can't have her!" over, and over again. Finally, death runs away. I race back to the room where Sandy is and tell her "You are going to live, I made death go away!!" Sandy thinks I am nuts because she didn't know she was marked for death that day. Then we just resume the day as normal.
*****
That dream bothers me so much because it was the most vivid dream I have ever had. Sandy has been dead for over 20 years, but, I swear to god I could smell her, touch her and just feel her presence. I never wake up crying, but, this time I did because it felt like I lost her all over again.
I post this because I want opinions on WHY I keep having this dream.
So, please analyze me.
and go....
The past:
When I was 6, my oldest sister (she was 16) Sandy died. Her and boyfriend where cruising through a park and were ran off the road into a tree by a drunk, on duty cop. The cop waited 45 minutes to even call an ambulance. Sandy and Jerry were alive when they arrive at the hospital, but died a short while later. The more tragic part to this story is that Sandy was 8.5 months pregnant with twin boys. Sadly they died too. We prosecuted, but lost.
The dream:
It starts in the house where we all lived when Sandy died, except, the house is brighter, more airy, and has a sense of happiness. Even when I was 6, I could just feel the tension that ran through the house. Anyhow, Sandy and I are folding just a fuckton of blankets and quilts, they are wall to wall floor to ceiling. In the dream, I already know she is going to die on this day, and she dies by tripping over the blankets and hitting her head. I am following her around, ready to catch her at any mis-step. The whole time, Sandy is not aware that she is about to die.
*This is where it get WEIRD*
I hear the doorbell ring, and run to get it. When I open the door, it is a squat, red, alien looking thing that says "I am death, and I am here for your sister.". I start girl slapping this thing and yelling "No, you can't have her!" over, and over again. Finally, death runs away. I race back to the room where Sandy is and tell her "You are going to live, I made death go away!!" Sandy thinks I am nuts because she didn't know she was marked for death that day. Then we just resume the day as normal.
*****
That dream bothers me so much because it was the most vivid dream I have ever had. Sandy has been dead for over 20 years, but, I swear to god I could smell her, touch her and just feel her presence. I never wake up crying, but, this time I did because it felt like I lost her all over again.
I post this because I want opinions on WHY I keep having this dream.
So, please analyze me.
and go....
Myocardial infarction
Yesterday, I am sitting here in my cave, kinda working. I get an email from my husband "Wow, golf ball sized hail and a tornado warning here." In the seconds after I read that, my thought was "That is strange, it's only February."
Then...
I recall that M's daycare is only about 4 miles from where J works. I instantly panic, it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I could not breath. The very thought of me or J not having the chance to be there to protect her was crushing to me. I was a good 25 minutes away, if the tornado would have happened, me driving at the speed of light could not have gotten me there to protect her.
Something has got to change..for real.
Then...
I recall that M's daycare is only about 4 miles from where J works. I instantly panic, it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I could not breath. The very thought of me or J not having the chance to be there to protect her was crushing to me. I was a good 25 minutes away, if the tornado would have happened, me driving at the speed of light could not have gotten me there to protect her.
Something has got to change..for real.
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