I don't know, I guess I have just been in a funk. A lot going on, don't want to be a whiner. I will summarize -
We have decided to move, just not to PA. We don't want to face winter. I will take this friggin heat (it has been hella hot here), over a frosty morning, any day. We have decided to move to the Melbourne area of Florida. Far enough away from here, close enough to a major city (Orlando). It will be a change, because both J and I are used to larger city life, and that area certainly is not that.
I don't know if I have mentioned anything about it here, but my sister and niece live with me. That has turned out to be a catastrophe. My sister just takes full advantage, because we are family. The point of telling you is this - her daughter was visiting her father in upstate NY, while she was there, she witnessed him have a massive heart attack and die. It breaks my heart to think of that even now. She witnessed the MI, his friends giving him CPR, the medics trying to resuscitate him, riding in the ambulance, and the ER doc working on him - all for nothing. My heart just freakin aches for her because they had started that day just hanging out together, something that was rare because he had a jealous wife. She and I were the same age when we lost a parent, but I knew it was coming, she did not.
In the past two months we have gone on vacation. We basically hung out with J's family, and it was great. They are scattered between Ocean County NJ, and Henryville PA. So, I was able to get cranked on Wawa coffee, and see some of the greatest people I know.
Work - well, it's been work. The boss that I like and respected - yeah, his position was eliminated for real. He is in his last two weeks to "transition" some projects, after that, he is gone. The bastard is happy, because he has the hook up, so he will land on his feet. I call him a bastard out of love, and I do it to his face, often. I just can't seem to find the motivation to do this 110% like I used to.
The reason for posting is this - on the way to work this morning, I heard a song that just kinda snapped me out of my fog. It really felt like I was seeing the sun for the first time in a while. I realized that there will be an end to these low times. I was actually in a good mood, I smiled and it wasn't fake. It felt good. So I have decided to NOT wait, I want to feel like that more often. I am going to start by not absorbing everyone else's problems to make better. We'll see how this snowballs from there.
By the way, the song was Lola by the Kinks. Love that song.
